3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm always down for nudity.
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