Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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