dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
