Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
