I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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