Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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