need another drink. this is the easiest way
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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