Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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