I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
