if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
