He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
