For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize