Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
