lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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