you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
