Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
