Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
