well most of my day revolves around power hour
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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