Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need water and some morals
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
