I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
