So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
