well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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