It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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