I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
