is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I think i got beer on your cat.
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