i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
