Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize