his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
