I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
