I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The uberlube is also flammable
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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