Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
