The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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