What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
