I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize