Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm too high and old for this...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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