i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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