I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
