He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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