well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
