in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he puts the penis in happiness.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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