She said her name was "party"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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