U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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