So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize