I'm going to jail i love you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
