you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
