Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
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