I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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