I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize