i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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