so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
