apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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