Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
