Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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