he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
that is very illegal...i love you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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