I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
