I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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