dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
