Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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