your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
