Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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