i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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