i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The feeling are messing with the penis
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
