is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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