I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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