i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
