The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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