The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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