We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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