Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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