Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
