weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
