hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
