she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
