It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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