I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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