What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
