Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
