ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
