I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
