But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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